WASHINGTON D.C. — Everybody knows that it isn’t easy being a Phillies fan, especially my friend Cliff who is loyal to that team. The Phillies have more losses than any other franchise, over 10,000 in fact. They only won it all once, back in 1980. The feat was so rare that someone I knew said it was the happiest day of her life. She was 10 at the time, so draw your own conclusions about what has happened to her since.
Cliff probably doesn’t remember that ’80 victory too well, given how young he was at the time. What I’m trying to say is being a Phillies fan rarely pays off; just ask Joe Queenan. This year it finally did off for Cliff. Not only did his team win the division, he won our annual Half-smoke/Cheesesteak Challenge which is determined by head-to-head records between the two clubs. Last year, I won a cheesesteak.
It turns out I didn’t need to wonder much, he even bought himself another. We had cheese fries too.
Next year, a cheesesteak will be won again, I assure you.