My favorite holiday is a day away — Thanksgiving! Family, food, football fire in the fireplace — what’s not to love? Thanksgiving is why America wins, on points.
NOTHING CELEBRATES GIVING THANKS LIKE LITTERING
If the listening of “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” (I insist on the full name<) isn't one of you traditions, it should be. DC101 plays it annually and I typically hear on my way into work. Yup, I work on Thanksgiving -- time and half plus the holiday. Not bad and I don't miss dinner which is much more reasonable than the retailers who insist on opening on Thanksgiving night. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Thanksgiving is pretty much a mandatory day to build a fire in the fireplace if you have one. Gas fireplaces don’t count.
HAVE SOME TURKEY BEFORE YOUR TURKEY
A shot of Wild Turkey in a snifter with just a drop of water is a great reward for building the fire. That’s real Wild Turkey too, not the harsh 81 proof stuff.
TRIUMPH OF THE UNCLUTTERED MIND
Football is a big part of the holiday too. The NFL is sending the Washington Redskins head to Texas to play the Dallas Cowboys on Thursday which is November 22, because 49 years ago a DC delegation going to Dallas worked out so well.
DC is 0 and 6 in Big D (or more accurately, Irving) on Turkey Day. The most memorable of course was 1974, so we might as well get Clint Longley out of the way:
Longley hasn’t been heard from in decades – sucker punching Roger Staubach will do that to you. DC Sports Bog provides a strong take on that memorable game that took place before we were born.
The Cowboys are probably wearing their stupid fauxback blue uniforms. This annoys me, Thanksgiving is a traditional game — wear the traditional uniform! The Redskins will probably wear white over gold which probably hasn’t been done down there since the Cotton Bowl days.
In the early game, the Detroit Lions will host the Houston Texans and almost certainly lose to them. The Lions also need to fix their uniforms. The New England Patriots visit the New York Jets in the night cap. Shouldn’t NEW ENGLAND be hosting on Thanksgiving? Seems like a no-brainer to me. Also, what took the NFL so long to add a third game on Thanksgiving?
By the way, I’m predicting the Redskins pull this on out, the Lions play valiantly and lose to the Texans and the Patriots roll over the Jets.
THE BIRD
“We’d always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called baseball…”
Abraham Simpson
Turkey is to be cooked on Thanksgiving, not the day before and NOT CHICKEN, like I once had to endure.
Here is how you carve it:
OVERFILLED TURKEY FRYER = CHINA SYNDROME
LATE IN THE COWBOYS GAME
Back when we had a social contract, the commercial that Ed McMahon wished “you and yours the very best this holiday season” with the Clydesdales in the snow was the official beginning of the Christmas season. Then Ed’s narration was replaced in the mid-1990s and now that beer has been made even blander by the multinational conglomerate that owns it. Boo.
I don’t seem to be able to have a turkey leg on the couch during the 4th quarter anymore, but if you can, go for it.
BLACK FRIDAY
Sleep in. Go to work. Clean up. Just don’t go to the damn mall or sprawling big box development.
I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY
