TL;DR Matt Williams and the Nats bullpen are terrible, Aroldis Chapman isn't coming and even he did he wouldn't be as cool as Connie Marrero.
Connie Marrero, who would have been 103 years old this week, has died. He pitched for the Washington Senators for five seasons, beginning as a 39 year old
Cuba’s former MLB star Marrero turns 102 – BBC News The oldest living Major League Baseball player, Connie Marrero turned 102 today. He played for the Washington Senators